Awkward

I often wonder, will I ever reach a point in my life when group situations will not seem awkward.  Even when I’m with people I know, I still feel awkward and insecure.  Like that little shy girl.  Why is that?

I don’t know why groups of people overwhelm me.  I get all anxious and one of two things will happen.  I will talk TOO much, or sit in a corner and not talk at all.  Come on girl, get a grip!

Every time I allow myself to fall into this trap, because that’s all it is, I could mentally torture myself. (And many times I do.)  I’m working on it though.  God has blessed me with VERY patient and loving friends.  They will rescue me from my self-imposed seclusion, and are learning to reign me in when I start rambling to fill awkward silence.

Maybe one day, I’ll find that balance, and for once in my life, seem normal.  (Notice the word seem…you may laugh now.)  Until then, I will seek God’s will and guidance, and read a good book.  Thanks Lisa Whelchel for Friendship for Grown-Ups, it may save my sanity!

Be blessed!

-De

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