Two weeks later, some things in life are easier, but not many. I seem to be plagued by the what if’s of life more now than ever. Don’t get me wrong, I fully appreciate so many things more fully now, but the cost of coming to these realizations just seems too high!
I’ve taken enough psychology courses to know what emotions will follow. So many are in the “angry” phase of grief…I just find myself waiting for you to call. I’m not angry at anyone…there is no reason to be. God called and you ran to His arms. Why should anyone be angry at that?
But when I realize that…oh, wait…you aren’t going to call. Then I retreat to seek solace and comfort in the arms of the Father.
Ugh…I know the process is going to be slow. It’s just it’s a process I never dreamed we would have to go through. Siblings are prepared instinctively to know they will have to say good-bye to grandparents and parents, but never entertain the thought of saying good-bye to each other. Parden my frankness…but it really sucks!
Never knowing what will spark the tears, and not knowing what to say when they come.
The awkwardness of family and friends, because no one really knows what to say.
The awkwardness of being saddened by happy families.
Loved ones wanting nothing more than to comfort you…but part of you just not wanting to be comforted…yet.
Family hurting so far away, and knowing the only help you can offer are words, when they really need a touch.
“I didn’t want some petty, inferior brand of righteousness that comes from keeping a list of rules when I could get the robust kind that comes from trusting Christ—God’s righteousness.
I gave up all that inferior stuff so I could know Christ personally, experience his resurrection power, be a partner in his suffering, and go all the way with him to death itself. If there was any way to get in on the resurrection from the dead, I wanted to do it.
I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.
So let’s keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision—you’ll see it yet! Now that we’re on the right track, let’s stay on it.
Stick with me, friends. Keep track of those you see running this same course, headed for this same goal. There are many out there taking other paths, choosing other goals, and trying to get you to go along with them. I’ve warned you of them many times; sadly, I’m having to do it again. All they want is easy street. They hate Christ’s Cross. But easy street is a dead-end street. Those who live there make their bellies their gods; belches are their praise; all they can think of is their appetites.
But there’s far more to life for us. We’re citizens of high heaven! We’re waiting the arrival of the Savior, the Master, Jesus Christ, who will transform our earthy bodies into glorious bodies like his own. He’ll make us beautiful and whole with the same powerful skill by which he is putting everything as it should be, under and around him.” Philippians 3:9-21 (The Message)
Through all the confusion and sadness and questions, Christ is my constant! Oh, how I pray that for all who suffer this same pain! I can’t imagine trying to muddle through life without the wonderful hope that He gives!