Ok, so here it is. I am an introvert. I think. Well, I’m pretty sure. Ah…I’ll let you decided, because I most definitely am indecisive. 😉
I am terribly shy, but I LOVE talking to people. I also really do enjoy meeting new people, but I’m awkward when it comes to mingling in crowds. I tend to end up sitting alone somewhere if I don’t already know people within said crowd.
I think I could be an extrovert if it weren’t for the hardship I have meeting new people. I just can’t seem to have this break through.
Here is why I think this is…and maybe others can relate. I was quite an awkward kid. Always really shy (a trait I passed on 100% to my children), most of the time you could find me hiding behind one of my parents. And you were incredibly lucky if you got any acknowledgement from me at all. But if you were lucky enough to get me to interact with you, I bet you wished you hadn’t…because I am female, and I like to talk.
As an adolescent, I had the unfortunate experience, on more than one occasion, to step out of my comfort zone, and try to make new friends in group situations. I thought all was going well, until I found as re-approaching a small group I had opened myself up to, they were making fun of me. Kids are mean. I know that now, but it still had a lasting effect. To this day, if I approach a group and they quickly stop talking, I automatically, immediately, assume the worst. Then I turn, kick myself for letting that thought in, and go back to my friends.
I’ve spent much of the last 5 years in prayer over this very thing. I WANT to get to know people. I WANT to step out of my introverted box and laugh with friends whom I’ve just met! I WANT to not fear approaching that quiet lady sitting by herself in a group of people.
God brought us to Seminary, and since being here, has opened doors for me to take several classes in Women’s Ministry. What have I learned? Philippians 4:13 ring a bell to anyone? I’m not sure what His ultimate plan for me is, but if He has laid it out for me, then I CAN do it! 😉
So, am I an introvert? I still say yes, because I am still shy. But I am also a people person.
My challenge to my fellow introverts. Don’t be afraid to step out there. God can and will give you the strength you need to face your fears and develop friendships!