You Aren’t Alone!

As my husband and I were travelling home from a minister’s and wives retreat this past weekend, we were discussing what we had learned and our observations from the retreat.  My biggest observation, not just from the retreat but over the past several years actually, is going to be the topic of several blog posts. (I hope.)

As women, we give to much power to our thoughts.  This effects our lives in many ways, positive and negative.

untrue thoughts

So, for today:  You aren’t alone!

We tend to listen to our crazy thoughts, about many things, and then think to ourselves, “I must be the only person in the world who feels this way!”  What I’ve come to learn is that, well, we are kidding ourselves in a harmful way.

This little inner voice will talk us out of wonderful friendships.  It will build walls dividing relationships.  It will send us in that spiral that finds us sitting in the middle of our beds in the fetal position weeping for no reason at all.  Have you ever been there?  I have, and it’s no fun at all.

I end up there all because of that lying little voice in my head.  That thought that, “she’ll never want to be my friend”, “I’m a failure as a wife and homemaker”, “I’m a terrible mother”…you fill in your own ______________________________.

Now, here’s a slap-yourself-in-head a-ha moment…pretty much every woman you know has & does feel the same way!

I was a bit discouraged this weekend and how quiet most of the other “young” minister’s wives were.  Most would greet each other with a fairly quiet hello and a smile, but I saw very few true conversations developing…which means few friendships were being born.  (And yes, I’m speaking of myself also.)  I can’t see into the minds of the other women, but here are some of the thought running around in my head: “All of these women must know each other…I’m the new kid on the block.”  (With this, I expected to be left on the outside.)  “If I try to start a conversation with her, I’m sure to say something stupid.” And it pretty much went like that in my head the whole time.

So, I allowed myself to miss out on getting to know some women who truly understand my current situation.  *Excuse me while I give myself a good swift kick.*

Lesson…don’t listen to that little lying voice.  Chances are that woman sitting across the room is having the same thoughts.  Honestly, the majority of women do.  We’ll never get to know one another unless we take that first step…that first horrifying first step.

Encouragement:

“The Lord is my light and my salvation–whom should I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life–of whom should I be afraid?”  Psalm 27:1

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding; thing about Him in all your ways, and He will guide you on the right paths.”  Proverbs 3:5-6

These are just a couple.  There are many studies and devotionals that focus on controlling your thought life.  I’m going to be re-visiting a few of them myself.  Hopefully together, over the next few weeks, we can really find that we aren’t alone in this.

I encourage you to comment (even if anonymously) and let us see that we are in this together, and this is something most women (and some men) really do struggle with.

Be blessed!

-De

9 thoughts on “You Aren’t Alone!

  1. Absolutely! And even when we understand and *know* this truth; we still fall into the trap of thinking those negative thoughts about ourselves. These in turn often lead to negative thoughts concerning others in our path.

    • Isn’t it really funny that we “know” we’re doing it. I tend to beat myself up sometimes because I KNOW these things and just refuse to change! 🙂

  2. I fall into the thought trap of I’ve messed something up. Everytime I meet someone new, there is always something that I think I say that is a screw up, when really I’ve said nothing dumb-sounding at all! It frustrates me that I do this!

    • I’ve totally been there! I’ll get so excited that I’ve found someone to talk to…I stumble over a few words…then totally think I’ve sunk the possible friendship.

  3. Kudos for bringing this topic into the open! One study that opened my eyes in a big way was “Beyond the Masquerade”. One of the biggest lessons from that: When we stop looking to others for our value, and look to the One that created us to learn how valuable we are to Him, our entire perspective changes!!

    • I actually referenced that study to a couple of women last week. I learned so much from it…but still fall into my “mask of shyness” when I have the slightest fear of rejection!
      That’s one of the ones I’m going to be reading through again! 🙂

  4. Oh hon, even reading this didn’t prevent me from tripping over my own ‘junk’ tonight. I said something, then thought it sounded ugly so vowed to never, ever open my mouth again to say that first thought that crosses it. Why, when I know good and well I don’t mean anything to sound ugly do I continue to think that others will think it’s a put down or meant in an ugly way. I know that is a bit off the original subject, but it is still negative thinking; it’s also placing a whole of weight on what others think of what I say not to mention playing the ‘assume’ game.

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